The Ed-Phil-Bill-Bill Dilemma


Selectmen five must serve our town.

This year, two run to keep their seats.

Will two, or one, or none go down

In two, or one, or no defeats?


Two others hope to get on board.

Four candidates for just two slots.

It’s sort of a contender horde.

Perhaps we can connect the dots:


There’s Phil, and Ed, and Bill, and Bill.

That’s Goguen, Rauscher, George, and Craft.

It seems we have one Ed, one Phil,

And one Bill fore, and one Bill aft.


Besides considering their claims,

Please read your ballot carefully.

Four candidates, but five first names:

Ed, Phil, Bill George, and Bill. Five, see?


And on Election Evening, will

We wind up with both Bill and Bill?

Or Ed and Bill? Or Bill and Phil?

And if it’s Bill, do tell: Which Bill?


The Ipswich Chronicle has said,

You should not vote for Phil, nor Ed,

But no, instead, make Bill and Bill

The two Se-lect-men Se-lect-ed.


Too bad all four can’t go on-duty.

A Board of seven; that’s my wish—

To make it Charlie, Ed, and Judy,

Phil, and Bill, and Bill, and Nish.


It might occur, someday, perhaps.

For now, though, you will have to fill

Two slots from four contending chaps:

Bill One. Bill Two. One Ed. One Phil.


I wish you well. I wish you luck.

May all your votes be good and wise,

Because, for three years, we’ll be stuck

With two you choose from these four guys.




Doug Brendel lives on outer Linebrook Road, where he immerses himself in William Shakespeare and Dr. Seuss. See a “Follow” button on this screen? Click it, and magically get “The Outsidah” in your inbox.



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