Ipswich in September

Standard

a new noise

“WHAT?”

“NOTHING.”

“WHAT?”

“I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING.”

“WHAT?”

“WHAT DAY IS IT?”

“WHAT?”

“IT’S SATURDAY, ISN’T IT?”

“YEAH.”

“THAT EXPLAINS IT.”

“WHAT?”

“I SAID, ‘THAT EXPLAINS IT.’”

“I HEARD YOU. EXPLAINS WHAT?”

“WHAT?”

“THAT EXPLAINS WHAT?”

“THE NOISE.”

“THE WHAT?”

“THE LAWNMOWERS. THE CHAIN SAWS. THE WOOD CHIPPERS. THE WEED WHACKERS.”

“WHAT?”

“EVERYONE WORKS IN THEIR YARDS ON SATURDAY.”

“WHAT?”

(24 hours later:)

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“What?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“What?”

“What day is it?”

“What?”

“Will you please put down the comics and listen to me?”

“What?”

“It’s Sunday, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“That explains it.”

“What?”

“I said, ‘That explains it.’”

“I heard you. Explains what?”

“The quiet.”

“The what?”

“Listen. It’s so quiet. Not a single lawnmower. No chain saws. Not even a weed whacker.”

“Mm-hm.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“What?”

“This is why God invented football.”

 

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